Vulnerability and Authentic Expression

Presenter: Ryel Kestano

  • Using your voice is more masculine because you are putting yourself out into the world. Using your ears and eyes is more feminine as you are receiving the world around you.
  • We think that not being vulnerable protects us, but it prevents us from truly being able to connect to others. Sharing the things that we are ashamed of brings us more connections as these are often universal experiences.
  • Dr. Gabor Mate states that we need authentic expression and secure attachment and that we will sacrifice authentic expression for secure attachment.
  • When a conversation at a party is boring, ask the other person “how is the conversation going for you?”
  • What we do is least intimate, most often revealed to others, and changes the most. How we do things is the next most intimate, next most often revealed to others, and does not change as much. Why we do things is the most intimate, most hidden, and changes the least. In order to have more intimacy, we should share why we do things.

From me- Your limbic system summarizes information from dangerous or bad experiences that you can’t necessarily access consciously. This information is then sent to your “belly brain”, the second largest cluster of nerves in the body. This causes what we call a “gut feeling.” For folxs with a trauma history, this can be distorted to avoid positive things that are associated with negative experiences.

Head here to learn more about attachment or here to learn what happens when we avoid being vulnerable.

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